Starting a Business During New Motherhood

As I step into this new role of doula and businesswoman, I’m reminded of what stepping into motherhood initially felt like: overwhelming, exciting, and confusing, all at once. There was an intense need to slow down, even though all I wanted to do was regain my usual speed. I was daydreaming of grand plans of the future, while in reality having to settle into a new daily practice of patience and sleepy quiet.

It takes a creative dig to find fulfillment in balancing work and motherhood. All mothers, working moms, stay at home moms, work from home moms, all deal with a host of emotions over the balance of careers and sense of self, while finding quality time to nurturing our babies. It’s a fine art with many inspiring paths to choose from.

I found a very inspiring poem during the first year after I gave birth to my son. At the time I was trying to figure out who I had now become. I have heard the process be described as maidenhood into motherhood, and that’s exactly how I was feeling. The young free girl I was, now had demands placed on her, with no clear rhyme, reason, or schedule. It was a challenge to balance my old self with my new mama role. The poem, upon my initial reading, reminded me that there is never an end point to being mindful of the balance you need to create for yourself as a caregiver to your children, and yourself. All parts of me will constantly be breaking apart and re-creating new over and over again; motherhood and maidenhood included.

At first, I was trying to go back to someone who just wasn’t there anymore. I had changed and needed to accept this new skin. Eventually it fell into place, motherhood became part of me. I have spent the last few years being with my son in contentment with that sleepy quiet I had never before experienced, or appreciated. Now I sit here at the end of new motherhood; my son is three. The universe is asking me to step into a new era again, break apart and create anew.

It’s been a challenge to create a business with a toddler to care for, even with a calling from the universe. There are so many things to do in a day, and energy becomes more sacred with age. I must fight through a lingering guilt of not always being there for him anymore. But my son is shedding his skin too, into a new version of himself. We are both learning to accept the newness in each other. It’s fun to see how we can support each other as we explore new parts of our path.

I found that inspiring poem again recently, and it reminded me of how important it is to stay open to the continuous journey as it evolves. My son and motherhood have taught me so many things. I notice a passion and drive within me that didn’t exist before him; a purpose that is now helping me create new endeavors in countless ways. This is just the start of my doula journey, but just like motherhood, I will find a groove in this business, until something changes, and I need to once more to step up, adjust and evolve my craft. The process will go on forever. The whole thing is a journey. Let all the parts of you swirl around, settling into the heart to lead you through. It's been a beautiful ride so far.

Here’s the poem, if you are inspired to explore it:

"A Spiritual Path to Motherhood" From the book: Joyful Birth, by Susan Piver

The path of motherhood has a beginning, but no end. It's constantly changing and constantly challenging. Along the way, we encounter our personal limits over and over. We fall in love over and over. We ride the sharp edge of hope and fear. On this path of discovery, as on any spiritual path, our pretensions are shattered, our minds are blown, and our hearts are opened. We cry, we laugh, we bumble around and make countless mistakes. Through it all we are gently, or abruptly, poked into greater honesty, loving-kindness, and understanding. It is a truly joyful path. 

The memory of my children's birth has become a talisman that I hold in my heart as I journey deeper and deeper into motherhood. For these moments come again in every mother's life, the times when we are asked to walk straight into our pain and fear, and in doing so open up to a love that is greater than anything we ever could have imagined, all life's beauty and wonder, as well as all the ways that things can break and go wrong. Again and again, motherhood demands that we break through our limitations, that we split our hearts open to make room for something that may be more than we thought we could bear. The labor with which we give birth is simply a rehearsal for something we mothers must do over and over, turn ourselves inside out, and then let go.